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So I know it's been an incredibly long time since I have updated this blog. Hopefully I'll get more time (and more inspiration) to post. But I just had to post this. I just have to brag on God a little bit.
About two or three months ago, my friend Vanessa and I were sitting next to each other during a church luncheon. At this particular luncheon, we were discussing as a church the different areas of ministry we would like to see grow or begin. Youth ministry came up simply in passing. I turned to Vanessa and whispered, "What if you and I did the youth?" She replied, "I was thinking the same thing!" Right then, we knew it was a God-given idea. We started planning and deciding when we wanted to start.
After much discussion and consideration, we figured that we would start our new youth ministry on July 30th, at 7 pm. And since it would be our very first Wednesday, we thought it fitting to have a "Kick off Party". We planned play games, have free pizza, make free frappuccinos, and even have fun giveaways and prizes. We got an awesome team of people who wanted to help work with young teenagers. Then we realized that to buy supplies and prepare adequately, we needed an estimate of how many kids we expected to show up. We decided, "Expect 20-30, prep for 40." We planned to buy 10 pizzas--enough to serve 40 people--and tons of drinks and cookies to go with it.
After thinking it over and discussing it with some people around us, we realized 40 was a pretty big number for our very first night, so we dropped it to just prepping for 20 or so at the last minute. We bought enough pizzas and desserts to serve 25 people. Our team showed up ready and excited. Finally, 7 o'clock rolled around...and 4 kids from our church showed up (2 of them were my sibling, and the other 2 were Vanessa's kids). Vanessa's kids brought 3 of their friends. I was happy that we had some kids of our own show up and that they brought guests. I told everyone, "Well, 40 was a huge number. 7 is good to start off with! This is really great." But inside, I was a little disappointed. I had hoped for at least 10 or 15 kids. But we carried on the night, when suddenly, in the middle of a game, my dad stopped everything and said, "The lady who runs the driving school next door just called. She's bringing her entire class of almost 30 kids over in 15 minutes."
We made a run for it. Some guys from the team rushed over more pizzas, I reset all the games, and others made frappuccinos. All of the sudden, we were flooded with teens. They ate up the pizza, talked with the leaders, got prizes, and participated in the games. When told them who we were and what we were about, and invited them to come back next week, tons of them said they would be happy to come. The teacher of the driving school even said, "They had so much fun, I offered to let them come next week. But I told them they'll have to start class earlier and not get a break." And almost all of them agreed.
At the end of the night, we did a final count. We had forty-ONE kids. Forty-one! Not only did we meet our goal of 20-30, but we beat our prep number of 40! Honestly, when we said, "Prep for 40," we meant that 40 was our "just in case" number. We didn't really think 40 kids would show up on our first night. In fact, deep down, we only really thought that 20 or so kids would come. We even said we'd be happy if just 10 or 15 showed up. But we said "prep for 40" because we figured, "Hey, better to have left overs than not enough." But we did hit 40! We had forty-ONE!
Beating "the number" was really God's way of telling me, "Don't worry about this. I've got it." Throughout this whole process of starting a youth ministry from scratch, I've had doubtful thoughts come to my mind. Should we really be doing this? Will this really work? We don't even have youth in our church right now! Am I too young to be doing this? But I've pushed them away and replaced them with faith. I started to see us having a successful youth group. I started seeing teenagers experiencing change. I started picturing myself standing in front of a large group of young people ministering. I began to tell myself I can do it, that I'm not too young, and that it will work! When 7 kids showed up, those doubtful thoughts came rushing back. See. It was never going to work. What were you thinking when you said 40 kids? Getting that many kids will take you a long time at the rate you're starting at. But when those 34 kids came rushing in at once, God reminded me that He is ALWAYS faithful and ALWAYS willing to provide the desires of our heart.
We had a great night, and I was honored to be able to put on such a fun "Kick-off Party" with the incredible team of volunteers we had. But most of all, I'm thankful that God came through and showed to us all that He can do anything and that He will always provide. He was the one who brought those kids in. Not me. Not Vanessa. Not anyone on the youth team. Not even the driving school teacher. God brought them. We weren't the ones who beat our number. He did. He beat it by one.

Used by God

As I was reading my Bible, I came across the lineage of Christ. I've read it a million trillion times, but this time, something really stuck out to me.
In the lineage of Jesus Christ, there are only five women mentioned-Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary.
Tamar dressed up as a prostitute and slept with her father-in-law.
Rahab WAS a prostitute.
Ruth came from a land full of idolatry and paganism.
Bathsheba got involved in adultery and it caused the death of her husband.
Mary was just an innocent virgin.
All these women lived different lives. One of them (Mary) lived a "clean" life. The other four out of five didn't. They sinned. They messed up. They did some pretty "bad" things. Yet through all of them came the Messiah. Through all their mistakes and dysfunctional lives, God used them. The savior of the world came through their bloodline. Jesus Christ came from them.
All of this to say one thing: Never say you are too messed up for God to use. Never say you're useless. Because He can take you-mistakes, sins, past, and all-and make something mighty come out of your life.
Romans 8:1-Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Today I was BLESSED

I hope that this story encourages you...here you go. :)
I went to my dorm room in between classes. I’m not even really sure why. When I walked into the room, I questioned, “…why did I come in here? I guess to change into a long sleeve shirt.” As I was switching shirts, I heard a girl say, “This is her.” She walked into my room holding this blazer. She put it in my hands and said, “I want to give this to you.”
It still had the tags on it, and fit me perfect. I thanked her and thanked God. I asked Him, “Lord, why? What’s this for?” I felt like He was saying, “I just wanted to remind you that I love you.”
This was such a blessing to me. Thank you, Jesus. And if the Lord will do something like that for me, He will do the same for you. You just have to simply ask and believe.

I Love How God Speaks To Me

Today, in one of my classes, the Lord really spoke to me. Last year, one of my closest friends passes away. I considered him my brother. I really loved him. And even though it's been a year since he's been gone, I still miss him and think of him often.
Sometimes I would wonder, "It's been a year-is it normal for me to still feel upset and sad about him passing away?" Well, today in class I got an answer.
Our class was about Jesus as our Savior. Mrs. Rachel was teaching incredibly. And all of the sudden, Mrs. Rachel stopped speaking and said, "I feel the Holy Spirit speaking to me. He's speaking to those who have lost loved ones. Those loved ones who have passed on, The Lord wants to remind you that they are not in your past. They're in your future. You'll see then again in heaven."
I just began weeping. That was such a comfort to me. I knew that my friend is in heaven, but just to be reminded that this is not the end. I'll see him again. It was comforting and precious to me. Mrs. Rachel said, "You who feel like that word is for you-you should be very honored that the Lord would stop our class just to speak to you. That's how much he loves you." And I am honored. And thankful. That God was able to speak to me and let me know that it'll all be alright. And that He loves me.

Don't lose your PLACE

So I haven't posted any blogs in a LONG time! Well, let me tell you what has happened in my life.
If you remember, I posted about how God gave me peace about going to a school called Texas Bible Institute, and that I was planning on going there. Well I'm here! This now marks my second week here. Let me tell you, the things I have learned here in just two weeks has been INCREDIBLE. I just wanted to share something that really stuck out to me in class. I thought it would encourage yall.
One of our classes is a DVD course. We do exactly what you're probably thinking-watch a DVD. One that we have been doing is called "Breaking Intimidation", by John Bevere. Something he said today in class was astounding to me.
He read out of 1 Kings 19, about Elijah. Long story short, in 1 Kings 17, Elijah tells Ahab, "Look man, there's not going to be any rain or dew until I say so." And so three years go by, and Lo and behold-no rain or dew. During those three years, Elijah does some pretty amazing stuff. (I won't spoil it for you-you can read it all in 1 Kings 17-18). So he then goes back to Ahab and says, "Hey man, go get all your prophets of Baal, and let's have a show down. We'll both sacrifice something, and whoever's god answers is the REAL God." As you can guess, it was Elijah's God, not Baal. So then, Elijah goes and kills a bunch of Baal's prophets. But suddenly (in 1 Kings 19), Jezabel says, "I'm gonna kill you in the next 24 hours for what you did."
When Elijah heard that, he suddenly felt intimidated. He, who just called fire and rain down from heaven (LITERALLY), feels so intimidated by this woman, that he runs away and hides in a cave. When God comes to him, he says, "Elijah. What are you doing here?" God was asking him, "Why have you run away? Why'd you give up, Elijah?" Elijah tells him a pity story. "Well God, the people tore down your altars and worship false gods and I'm the only one left and they want to kill meeeee." So God tells him to go outside. And out there, God speaks to him in a still, small voice. Elijah-who has just been fed by an angel, spoken to by God-goes BACK into the cave and lays down.
God asks him again, "Elijah, what are you doing here?" And you know what Elijah says? "But Goooood, the people tore down your altars and worship false gods and I'm the only one left and they want to kill meeeee." And guess what God tells him this time?
"Go find a man named Elisha and train him so that he can become a prophet TO REPLACE YOU." No joke. Go read it. To replace you.
I've never caught that before. That Elijah lost his place. When Jezabel threatened his life, he became INTIMIDATED. And that's an evil spirit. God had a great plan for Elijah. He could have destroyed Jezabel. He could have brought Israel back to the Lord. But instead, he became intimidated. And instead of allowing the Lord to speak to him and show him he had no reason to be intimidated, he retold his pity story. "I'm the only one left. They want to kill me." He forgot about God, and started dwelling on himself. And because of that, he lost his place.
When we feel a spirit of intimidation, instead of wallowing in self-pity, we ought to go to God. Forget ourselves. Talk to Him. And take authority in the Spirit and tell that evil spirit to go in Jesus' name.
I hope that encourages yall as much as it did me. And I'll post some more things soon. Love yall!
-A Christian Teenage Girl

"A Good Man Is Hard to Find"

We read that story in lit class. "A Good Man is Hard To Find", by Flannery O'Connor. To quickly summarize it, it starts out about a family taking a road trip. There is a mom, a dad (named Bailey), two children (a boy named John Wesley and a girl named June Star), and a grandmother. They take a car trip. On the way, the grandmother sees an old dirt road and remembers that there is a house down the old road. She manipulates everyone to take the road because she wants to see the house. But two things happen down the road. 1) The grandma remembers that the house she remembers was in Tennessee, and they were in Georgia. 2) The family has a car rec. Their car flips in a ditch, and they are stuck. Suddenly, another car shows up, and three people get out. Turns out, these three people are escaped convicts, one who is a murderer known as "The Misfit". The Misfit has his two buddies take everyone in to the woods and shoot them, but keeps the grandmother with him. He talks to her, and she begs for her life. But suddenly, the grandmother has an epiphony. She reaches out to the Misfit and says "You're one of my own. You're one of my babies." He jumps back and shoots her three times. As he and his two buddies are driving away, the Misfit says the closing line of the story: "She would've been a good woman, had there been someone there to shoot her every minute of her life."
When we finished reading this story, the classroom was filled with silence. Everyone was processing what had just happened and what had just been said. Finally someone broke it, saying "...wow." As our literature teacher began to discuss this story with us, I realized this story has a much deeper meaning. You see, the whole story, the grandmother thinks about "good people". She has an idea that "good" comes from appearances, money, being well educated, etc. Even when the Misfit is standing near her with a gun, she looks at his appearance. From the outside, you couldn't even tell he was a convict or murderer-he is described as looking "scholarly". She looks at his outward appearance and says "you wouldn't shoot a lady-you're a good man." Accourding to the grandmother, she herself is a "good woman". But on the inside-where "goodness" really is, she's not. The entire story, the grandmother wants her way-she wants to go to Tennessee, she wants to see a house, she wants to bring the cat, she wants this, she wants that. She always voices what she wants, and tried to even manipulate to get her way. But something happens to her near the end of the story.
Grandmother is sitting on the ground, begging for her life. Even at this point, it is a selfish plea, asking for the Misfit to spare her, and not her entire family. She is trying to manipulate the Misfit to not kill her, telling him he's a "good man" and whatnot. But when all her family has been shot and killed, and she suddenly realized she has no chance to live, she has what my literature teacher called "a moment of reality". What is more real than having a gun in your face, thinking you're going to die? In that moment, you would probably think of your family or your life, and realize what is "real" and "unreal". You would probably realize something about yourself that you could have changed in your life. That's what happened to grandmother. She had a moment-just one moment-in her life where she forgot herself. She didn't think about herself or her own wants or appearances. She became selfless for the first time in her life, and reached out to the Misfit. She saw him in a moment of distress and forgot that he was a murderer or that she was a lady. She forgot all that, and reached out to him, offering love and acceptance, as if he was her own baby. And this shocks the Misfit, so he kills her. But his final statement is the most profound statement in the entire story. "She would have been a good woman, if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life." If she had had a fun in her face ever minute of her life, she would have been truly good. The grandmother had an act going her whole life. She pretended to be a good woman. And it wasn't until the literal last moment of her life, when she had a gun pointed at her, that she changed.
This story made me really think about my life and how I am. When I come to the end of my life, I don't want to look back and think "I could have been so different-so much better." I don't want to be like the grandmother and think all my life that I was a truly "good" person. But I can't be a good person. Not on my own. Sure I can be polite to people and try to love them. But I can't on my own. I'm bound to screw up something or mess up something by myself. Which is why I need God. Why I need him to help me and whisper in my heart "Don't do that. That's not right" when I'm doing the wrong thing. I need Him by my side so that when I come to the end of my life, I don't look back and think "I could have changed so much." I want to look back and think, "I am so glad Jesus helped me be good everyday." I want to live my life in that "moment of reality", as if every minute of my life was my last. And with God's help, I can do that.

"She would have been a good woman,” The Misfit said, “if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life."

...just sayin'.

Last year (2011), I read the Bible completely through for the first time in my life. (And on January 1st, I opened it up and started all over!) If you have never done it, I really encourage you to find a plan that is right for you, start it up, and read it everyday. It has opened my eyes up to so much. I feel as though I have gained wisdom and learned things that I have been able to apply to my life everyday. I heard a wise man say once "Put the word in when you don't need it, and it will be there for you when you do." In other words, put the Bible in your heart, even though it might not "speak to you" right at that moment. But if you do that, when you need it, it will be there in your heart, and God will remind you of it. You would be suprised at how many times I have said "Hey! I remember reading such-and-such last week...wow...that really helps me with my situation today." So always remember that: "Put the word in when you don't need it, and it will be there for you when you do." It's well worth your time and effort. Plus, when you finish, you feel really accomplished and proud of yourself. Just sayin.