Truth in "To Kill a Mockingbird"

So recently I re-read the book "To Kill a Mockingbird". First of all, let me tell you-that is a wonderful book, and if you haven't read it, you should! Anyways, it deals alot with bitterness and hatred. One of my favorite passages is this passage in the book. The main character is a little girl named Scout. Scout is talking to her brother Jem about hatred and prejudices that they see everyday. Jem says "You know something Scout? I've got it all figured out, now. I've though about it alot lately, and now I've got it figured out. There's four kinds of folks in the world..." Jem tells Scout the four "types" of people in the world, and tells Scout that they all hate each other because they come from different backgrounds. Scout later says, "Naw, Jem, I think there's just one kind of folks. Folks." Jem looks at Scout and responds, "That's what I thought too when I was your age. If there's just one kind of folks, why can't they get along with each other? If they're all alike, why do they go out of their way to despise each other? Scout, I'm beginning to understand something. I think I'm beginning to understand why Boo Radley's stayed shut up in the house all this time...because he wants to stay inside."
Although these are fictional people and this is a fictional conversation, I could not escape the truth in these few lines. When it comes down to it, there's just one type of people in this world: people. You can seperate them up into races, genders, ages, religions-whatever you want-but they all have something similar. They're people. Human beings. And no matter what they do or say or think, we should not treat them any less than what they are. People. Jesus never treated anyone less than that. Look at Mary Magdeline. She was an outcast. Yet Jesus accepted her with love. What about the lepers? They were dirty and sick. Nobody wanted them. But Jesus accepted them with love. What about the Samaratain woman at the well? She slept around and was an "easy" girl. Nobody wanted her. But Jesus accepted her with love. And my personal favorite-the adulterous woman. She was trash. Nobody wanted her. In fact, everybody wanted her dead. They thought she was worth more dead than alive. But what did Jesus do? He gave her life. he accepted her with love. The best way you can lead someone to Christ is by showing them Christ's love. Forget about their outward appearence, or their social status, or their personality, or their background or their past. Show them love. It's as simple as a smile or a hug or asking "How are you today?". Because no matter where they're from, or what they do with their life-they're still people. Because like Scout said, "There's just one kind of folks in this world. Folks."

To "The Sailor"

Like I've said before, blogger has me all weirded out, and won't let me reply to comments, so I try to atleast post and say thanks. So...thanks. :) Thanks for following me on twitter and here! I'm glad you like my blog and enjoy reading it. It always is encouraging to hear feedback and stuff like that. So thanks. :) I will definitely check out your blog!
-God Bless,
The Christian Teenage Girl

Tweet Tweet! (I Got a Twitter)

Yeah...I did. I got a twitter account. So now I "tweet" I guess is what you say? Whatever, whatever. I'll still be blogging, because there's just so many things you CAN'T cram into 140 characters. :) Anyways, if you wanna check it out or follow me, you can go HERE. :)

Ladies and Gentleman, The President

So on Tumblr, I am doing a "30 day challenge". For 30 days, it gives you something to blog about. So today's "challenge" was "Who do you think would make a good president?" I answered just like this:


Who do I think would make a good president? This guy. No. Not Jim Caviezel (although he would make one darn attractive president). Jesus Christ. He would be the perfect president because…well, He’s perfect. He would sacrifice. He would love unconditionally. He would be wise. He would be powerful. He would be merciful and graceful, but still be just and righteous. He wouldn’t be self-centered, deceiving, or unfair, because He’s Jesus Christ. He would be the best president this world has ever seen. :)

Thank you JESUS.

(I am about to leave and catch a plane, so this post will be rather short.)
So with Thanksgiving coming up and whatnot, I have been thinking about thankfulness. What will you be thankful for this Thanksgiving? I know what I'll be thankful for. I'll be thankful for the wonderful family God has given me. For the incredible friends that surround me everyday. For a roof over my head, food to eat, and clothes to wear. But most of all, I will be thanking Jesus for dying for me. Thanking Him for His grace and mercy and unfailing love He gives me everyday, when I never deserved it in the first place. I'll be thanking God that I just woke up.

Shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth!

Worship the Lord with gladness.

Come before him, singing with joy.

Acknowledge that the Lord is God!

He made us, and we are His.

We are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter into his gates with THANKSGIVING;

Go into his courts with praise.

Give thanks to him and praise his name.

For the Lord is good.

His UNFAILING love continues forever,

and his faithfullness continues to each generation.

-Psalms 100 (NLT)

To the Anon

Sorry guys-Blogger is being kinda weird and won't let me reply to ya'lls comments. I try to reply and atleast say thank you, but Blogger tells me I can't. But just to let you know, I see them, and they always encourage me. :)
An "anon" (as I call those who comment anonymously) posted and asked about my other blogs. Well, anon, I actually have two other blogs. One is a blog where I post poems that I write (it doesn't get updated quite as often), and another one is a blog that is similar to this one, I just post more about other things besides just God (like music, my life, things I like-it's more "personal" I guess you could say). You are welcom to look at them! If you click here, you can see my poetry blog, and if you click there, you can see my other blog.
Thank you so much, Anon, for your comment. It always encourages me to know that people are reading and responding to my blog. :)

Incredible Inspiration

I read this book a few years back (and I want to purchase my own copy and read it again). It’s called “I would Die For You”. It is about a boy named BJ Higgins. When he was 15, he felt God calling him. He decided to go on a missions trip to Peru. There, he caught a disease that took his life. His story really inspired me. His life amazed me. His devotion to God left me wanting to be like him. He is a huge reason I began blogging about my life and Christ. He used things like the internet and his way with words to reach out to his friends and help them in their walk with Christ and win them to the Lord. His life made me want to change mine. He made me want to be like that. As soon as I read that book, I opened up Facebook and began posting. A few days later, I opened up a blog. I now have two blogs. One of them is read by people all over the world-I have at least one person in every continent reading it. The other has 117 followers. I went on my own mission trip to India. I now feel like God is drawing me to the missions feild. The life of BJ Higgins inspired me to live mine totally for God. He would’ve been a great person to know on this earth, and when I get to heaven, I would be honored for him to be one of the first people I meet.

Just to let ya know...

I've gotten a few comments in the past few weeks on my blogs. Thank you guys so much! It is so encouraging for me to hear that my blog helps or encourages someone else. I've tried to respond to them, but for some reason, Google won't let me. :( But I wanted you guys to know I did get them and read them and they make me very happy everytime I see them. Thank you so much for your feedback and encouragement. You guys are incredible! :)
-A Christian Teenage Girl

Thank you Jesus for GRACE!

So this week I was shown true grace in an incredible way. I got something that I did NOT deserve. Here's the story.
I have a favorite band. My favorite band is Anberlin. I LOVE Anberlin. And I looked at Anberlin's schedule and found out they were going to be in my town. The part of town they were going to be in was in that scary part of town that I would NEVER go to by myself, and my dad ALWAYS goes to concerts with me. I said "DAD. DAD. ANBERLIN IS GOING TO BE HERE IN A FEW WEEKS. CAN WE GO?!" I told him the dates, and his face fell. "Well, Rachel," he said "I'll be out of town that day. I don't think it will work." (See, my dad has been going to see his pastor/mentor every weekend. His mentor is 5 hours away.) "Well can't you change your flight?" "No. It will cost me $150. I can't." I tried and tried to work it out for us to go see Anberlin, and every date had SOME sort of complication with it. I begged and begged my dad to make something work. I treated him coldly when he finally said, "NO!" I complained and was short with him, and made it clear that I was upset that he would NOT take me to the concert. When I saw that I was really hurting his feelings, I thought about it. I realized I wasn't mad at my dad for not taking me-I was upset at OTHER things that had gone on that day, and was taking it out on him. I apologized. I said "Dad, I know what you're doing every weekend is from God, and so I'm really sorry I treated you badly for not taking me to that concert. I understand. And I'm not really upset about the concert. Other stuff has upsetted me today, and I was just mad about that. Can you please forgive me?" he said yes. The next day, he sat me down and told me to relook at the tickets. When we found them, he said "Get me my credit card." He bought the tickets right in front of me. He then looked at me and said "Now, Rachel, I want you to know, I'm not doing this because you acted badly yesterday or because you had a bad day. I'm buying these tickets because you asked me to forgive you for treating me like that." We talked some more, and I said "But dad, what about your plane ticket? How did you fix that?" He just said "I haven't yet." I realized what a chance he was taking. He bought the tickets, confirming that he WAS taking me-whether he had to pay the $150 for the plane or not. I was incredibly grateful that I have such a good dad.
Later, he called the airport and talked to them. It turns out, when he called the airport the first time, the woman said "You can't change-it will be $150." But actually, you had 24 hours after you booked the flight to change your flight for free. My dad explained this to the person he was talking to that the woman was mistaken and that he should have been able to change his flight. He also kindly asked if he could change it now with out paying $150, because he would be flying the same airline consistently for the next year. The person said "Hold on sir." When they came back, they told my father he was right-he could change the flight, but he would have to pay $50 for the difference in first ticket and the second ticket. Understanding, my dad agreed. He excitedly told me "I worked it out! We're going to that concert!"
I sat and thought even more about that. With the way I had treated my father before, I did NOT deserve those tickets. I didn't deserve ANYTHING. I treated him terribly! But with grace, my dad bought the tickets-giving me something I did NOT deserve. And the God, in HIS grace, made it able for my dad to not pay $150 to change his ticket. God showed me grace also. I didn't deserve any of that. But grace made it available to me. And that is the beauty of the love of God. He gives us things (like salvation) when we DON'T deserve them-showing us grace-and doesn't give us things (like death and hell) when we DO deserve them-showing us mercy. God's love-his grace and mercy-always leaves me speechless and grateful for Jesus and his love for us. Thank you, Lord, for that!

Radical, Dude

So I've been reading a book called "Radical" by David Platt. I'm almost done with it. I would definitely suggest all Christians read that book. It's really eye-opening, mind-blowing, and convicting. I wanted to blog a little about what I've gathered from it so far.
First of all, he talks about the pursuit of "The American Dream". The "American Dream" is the idea of building ourselves up, becoming rich and comfortable, and loving ourselves. It's all about material prosperity. But the author brings out something that is amazing to me: The American dream and Jesus Christ contradict each other. Where as the American dream is all about selfishness-"me" and all I can do and have-Jesus lived a life of selflessness. He gave up all he had. He served. You cannot chase something that is rooted in selfishness and pride while also chasing God-which calls us to live a life of selflessness and humility.
Secondly, David Platt talks about how when we begin to twist Christianity into something we like. He talks about how we tend to take away traits of God we don't like and put in a bunch we do. For example, we might say "Oh, I don't really like that God is a wrathful judge who condemns my sins. I think I'll take that away and put some love and mercy into God where I want it." Yes, God is loving and merciful and full of grace, but he is also the wrathful judge who judges our sins. And when we begin to do that, we begin to paint a picture of Jesus that looks alot less like him and alot more like us. The danger of that is this: when we think we're worshipping Jesus Christ and the God of the Bible, we're really worshipping ourselves. We might not say that we do that, but I found even in myself, I subconsciously have painted a picture of Jesus that looks alot less like him and alot more like me.
Third, he asks the question "Why are we saved?" And the author says we are saved and created to "enjoy God's grace and spread his glory." As crazy and as hard to understand as it may seem, he says God didn't save us simply out of his love (although MUCH love was involved). He says God saved us so that we could spread his glory and his love to others, and then THEY can spread his glory and love, and everyone they spread the gospel to can spread it again, and it just becomes a huge chain reaction.
Fourthly, he talks about how Christ called us ALL to go into the WORLD and makes disciples of ALL nations (Matthew 28:19). He talks about how some people say "Oh, it's not 'God's will' for my life for me to go out to another country and spread the gospel," so we just send money for others to go out and do that-but not us. No. Not us. But according to the bible, Christ HAS called us ALL to do this! That doesn't mean everyone is called to go live in another country forever and permanently "be a missionary", but it DOES mean that we are called to spread the gospel to ALL nations! It's not hard to go on a mission trip or tell someone about Christ. This is what God has called us to do! This IS God's will for our lives.
The fifth thing he talks about is true, but terrified me. He talks about this: what if we DON'T follow Christ's command to spread the gospel? Do we really realize how selfish it is? And do we realize that because of our selfishness, many won't hear the gospel? And as a result of that, many will die unsaved, never hearing of Christ, and go to hell? Some people say, "Oh it's not fair of God to send people to hell if they haven't heard of Jesus!" But David Platt says "There is no injustice with God. The injustice lies in Christians who possess the gospel and refuse to give their lives to making it known among those who haven't heard. THAT is unfair."
Think of it this way: Imagine this-everyone around you is contracting a disease. Everyone around you is dying. And you hold in your hand a huge bag, full of syringes. Syringes full of the antidote to this disease. And you have enough syringes in your bag to save EVERYONE. Would you hide your bag, and not give the antidote to anyone but yourself? Would you sit and watch everyone die a slow, painful death, and you knew that you were going to live? NO! Of course not! Many would begin passing out syringes, rushing everywhere, all over the WORLD to save lives.
Can't we see? WE have the antidote. WE have the syringe. WE can save EVERYONE. SO WHY DON'T WE SHARE IT? Why do we hide it away, knowing we are safe, and watch everyone around us travel on the road to hell? WHY?
So many people have not heard the gospel. How can we say it is NOT God's will for them to hear? How can we sit back and say "Nah-God hasn't called me to do that. Not me"? WE HAVE THE KEY. David Platt explains it like this: "God sends his servants. His servants preach. People hear. Hearers believe. Believers call [on God]. Everyone who calls in saved...We are the plan of God, and there IS NO PLAN B." WE HAVE THE KEY to SAVE LIVES. Not just lives-ETERNITIES. WE HAVE THE ANTIDOTE. WHY DON'T WE SHARE IT?
After reading the book, I feel like I could passionately go on for hours about this. I now know this IS God's will for my life. There is so much deep stuff in that book that is mind blowing. It is eye opening. I really do suggest all Christians read that book. "Radical" by David Platt.

Peace of God

So I went to church camp this week, and I had something I was specifically praying about. See, I graduate this school year (2012), and I knew God was calling me to go to a bible institute, but I wasn’t sure which one. I had two I was looking at, and both were with in a 40 minute drive of each other, so I was having a tough time. I had information on one (called PTC) and was beginning to gather information about the other (called TBI). Well I was a bit stressed out, I’m not gonna lie. I know I had like a few months to still make that choice, but I was kinda scared. I prayed and told God, “God, I really need you to give me direction. I need to know where to go.” Well, the church camp I go to is hosted by TBI. So I began to gather information and ask questions about TBI. I kept praying the whole time.
Finally, on the 3rd day of camp, I was in a meeting, and the founder of TBI came in the room. You could just feel God’s annointing on him as soon as he walked in. And as he was speaking, I felt as though he was speaking directly to me and my life. And all of the sudden, I just felt at peace. It was like every question and doubt in my heart was gone, and I knew-this is where I need to go. This is where I am suppossed to be.
The moral of the story is this, kids-ask God to speak to you, and consistently ask him to guide you, and he will. He hears you. And he will answer in his perfect timing. He'll give you peace when you need it. Just trust him.

Idolatry Today

But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who
suppress the truth by their wickedness. They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. For ever since the world was created, people have
seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his
invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse
for not knowing God. Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was
like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. Claiming to be wise,
they instead became utter fools. And instead of worshiping the glorious,
ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people... (Romans 1:18-23, NLT)

So I read this last night, and I connected it to a book I've been reading called "Radical". In "Radical", the author says almost the same thing, but in different words. He says,:

...We are starting to redefine Christianity. We are giving into the dangerous temptation to take the Jesus of the Bible and twist him into a version of Jesus WE are more comfortable with. A nice, middle class, American Jesus. A Jesus who doesn't mind materialism and who would never call us to give away everything we have. A Jesus who would not expect us to forsake out closest relationships so that he receives all our affection. A Jesus who is fine with nominal devotion that does not infringe on our comforts, because, after all, he loves us just the way we are. A Jesus who want us to avoid dangerous extremes, and who, for that matter, wants us to avoid danger altogether. A Jesus who brings us comfort and prosperity and we live out our Christian spin on the American Dream. But do you and I realize what we are doing at this point? We are molding Jesus into OUR image. He is beginning to look alot like us because, after all, that is whom we are most comfortable with. And the danger now is that when we gather in out church building to sing and lift up our hands in worship, we may not actually be worshipping Jesus. We may be worshipping OURSELVES. (David Platt, "Radical", pg. 13)

I connected those two statements. And felt a bit convicted. Both of them are talking about idolatry. In Romans, it says bluntly "They KNOW God, but wouldn't worship him AS God", and instead, they began to "think up foolish ideas of what God was like". And in Radical, he's talking about how we change the image of Jesus. I'll explain this more.

A few paragraphs before, David Platt was talking about all the things costs of following Jesus that Jesus himself said in Luke 9:57-62. One man said "I'll follow you Jesus!" And Jesus said "Foxes have dens, birds have nests, but the Son of man has no place to lay his head." In other words, shelter isn't garunteed. You might be left out in the cold or have no where to go because you follow Jesus. Yikes. Then another guy says "hey, Jesus-I'll follow you. But let me bury my dad who just passed away." And Jesus says, "Let the dead bury their own dead. You rjob is to preach the Kingdom of God." In other words, put me first, and don't even let the burial of your own father get in the way of your relationship with me. Whoa. Then another guy says "Jesus! I'll follow you-gimme a second, though. I'm gonna go say bye to my family." And Jesus says "Anyone who put his hand to the plow and looks back is not fit for the Kingdom." In other words, forget your family and closest relationships. FOLLOW ME. I'm all you need. Dang. And what about the rich man in Luke 18:18-23? He came up and was like "Jesus, how to I get eternal life?" And Jesus is like "Well, you know, the commandments." And the rich man says "But I already do that." Jesus then says "Oh yeah, one more thing-sell everything you have and give it to the poor. Come follow me." There is not "in other words" to that. Blunt, straight, and to the point. Give up everything you have. Follow me. Wow.

What David Platt is saying is that we don't WANT to accept the possibility that God might call us to do something like that. We don't like the thought that Jesus might say "Give up all your material things. Follow me." or "Forget your family and friends. Follow me." or "Leave your home. Follow me." or even possibily "Don't attend your own father's burial. Follow me." We're uncomfortable with that. So we say "No, Jesus wouldn't want me to give up those things. He loves me." But in reality, we're conforming to idolatry when we do that. Because we're NOT truly following Jesus and worshipping him for who he is. We're doing exactly what Romans was talking about. "thinking up foolish ideas of what God is like". Our OWN foolish ideas.

I read these two things and was a bit convicted. I had to look at myself and say "Have I done that? Have I worshipped my OWN idea of Jesus? Would I give up those things to follow Jesus?" It takes a heart re-arrange to change the way you look at Jesus. I know I'll be working on mine.

What about you?

When you Hold on to stuff, and that stuff holds you back, it makes it hard to get to Jesus.

A little boy in my kids church, when asked to share about the church-camp trip he had just attended, stood up infront of the entire adult congregation and boldly said this. He’s probably less that 12 years old. I could not believe it. Believe his age. Hid boldness. And the amount of truth in that statement.
“When you hold on to stuff, and that stuff holds you back, it makes it hard to get to Jesus.”
I later approached that little boy and hugged him and said ‘Bill! I’m so proud of you-everything that you said up there!” His response shocked me.
“I wanted to say more, but my mind just went blank. I wanted to talk about when we went on that hike, and they told us when we got to the top of the mountain, to tell something that holds us back-something we never told anybody. I wanted to talk about how we were so high up there, you could just feel the presence of God. And when all these men shared secrets nobody knew,-man, the wind picked up, and you could just feel…God.”
The same day, we took up offering in kids church, and as usual, I asked if anyone wanted to pray over it. All the kids were quiet (as usual). I looked at little Bill and said, “Bill, would you like to pray?” (Just two weeks before, I asked him the same question, and he said “Nah, I don’t like praying.”) This time, he looked in my eyes, and with a genuine look said,
“I don’t know how to pray over offering, but I will.”
I said, “Well, just tell God thank you for the offering, and pray that He will bless it. And just say thanks for letting us learn about Him. Just pray whatever you feel, Bill.” He said "Okay." I bowed my head, prepared to pray, when I noticed something that amazed me.
Little Bill had knelt down on his knees in front of everyone and said "Uhh...God...thank you for this offering. Please bless it. Thank you for the kids church and that we can come to learn. Thank you for the camping trip we just went on. Thanks for everything. Love you. Amen."
Little Bill got up off of his knees, and went back to his seat. I sat in awe at this child. In jusst two days, his life had changed completely. And God spoke something to me.
"This is what I mean when I tell you-Have child-like faith."

This has been on my Heart

Someone I follow on Tumblr posted this picture with the caption "This is what you do to Him. your body is God's temple". It made me remember a vision I once had.
If you have read my testimony, you know at one point in my life, I was deeply involved in cutting. (If you haven't read it-you should! thepastorskid.tumblr.com/testimony! Anyways-) After I got out of my addiction, I was praying one time. And I don't remember what I was praying or asking God about, but I remember all the sudden, I started getting this vision. I saw myself, sitting on the floor of my bathroom, with a razor in my hand, carefully cutting my own wrist. At first I was like "Oh, God-why are you showing me this?" But then, I realized something about the vision. I saw behind me, and man in white. I knew immediatly that it was Jesus. He was looking right at me cutting myself. And as I looked into Jesus' eyes, I saw that He was...crying. But not just a few tears or crying a little bit. I looked and saw that Jesus Christ-the creator of the world, the ultimate sacrifice-was weeping. He was broken hearted, and I knew it. It was like I could feel his heart breaking for me. Tears were streaming down His face. And the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said "This is how I felt. You hurt yourself, but it hurt me also."
In reality, I began to cry. "Oh God-forgive me! Forgive me!" I remember saying. And all I really remember after that is feeling a peaceful sensation and feeling as though Jesus was saying "I already have."
Have you ever thought about that, though? When you do something that hurts you-whether shooting up drugs or cutting yourself or drinking too much or whatever you might do that isn't good for you-it not only hurts you. It hurts Jesus also. It hurts his heart. His heart breaks-for us. Have you ever thought of that? I know I never did. But it changed the way I thought of things. I got this thought: I am God's creation, and when I would injure and hurt myself, I was hurting his creation. I was insulting him. But He loves me wholly, and all I did was scar and hurt his art. I don't deserve his love. Yet he gives it too me anyway. That's the beauty and greatness of Jesus Christ and God's unfailing love. We never deserve it, but it's always ours to take.

Your Eyes, Your Ears, and Your Heart

This weekend, I have been at a church confrence. It's been so great, hearing all these speakers being used and hearing the Holy Spirit speak through them. Last night, the speaker, Pastor G.F. Watkins, spoke about the Holy Spirit, and the babtism of the Holy Spirit, and speaking in tounges. I liked the way he explained speaking in tounges-he said "When the Holy Spirit babtizes you, he gives you a language and way to speak to God-one your brain can't mess up." I never thought of it that way, but it makes sense. Many times I've prayed, using my own words, and stumbled over my words or lost focus on what I was praying about-but when I pray in the Spirit, I feel peaceful-like I know what I'm praying is what I need to be praying about. I liked that explanation alot. So what does that have to do with your ears, eyes, and heart? Nothing at all actually, because all I just said is not what I actually wanted to blog about. So I think I'll talk about that. :)
What I really wanted to blog about was what Pastor G.F. Watkins' wife, Rose Watkins, preached about. She used a verse in Matthew, where Jesus is explaining why he told parables. The version she used said (I don't remember which version it was, but it went something like this-) "They have ears, but cannot hear. They have eyes, but their eyes are closed. They have hearts, but their hearts have grown dull." She then went on to say, "What about your ears? When was the last time you really heard from God? What about your eyes? When do you open them to see things the way God sees them? And what about your heart? Has your heart grown dull?" She talked about herself, and how she went through some hard times recently, and to her, reading her bible and praying became routine things. But she said, weeping, that now, she can't be in the precence of God, read her bible, or pray without hungering for more, and desiring it and looking deeper into it. Her altar call was for if you felt like your eyes are closed, and you want to see things the way God sees them, if your ears aren't hearing, and you want to hear God speak, or if your heart has grown dull, and you want it to become soft again. I went up because I felt like that's where I am right now. I still read my Bible everyday, I still worship, I still pray-but I feel like it's just routine. Like I'm not going deeper. Like God isn't speaking. Like I've gotten a bit dull. And I want that to change. I wanna go deeper. I wanna hear God speak to me. I want him to speak to me through everything and everyone. I want to see things like God does. I want to be like that woman, Rose, and weep at the mere mention of being in the presence of God. I want God to sharpen my heart.
So my question I leave you with is this: What about you? What's the condition of your eyes, your ears, and your heart?

Beauty from Pain

This morning, I was reading my Bible with my Mom, and we were reading in John when Jesus died on the cross and said to his disciple and mother "This is now your son, and this is now your mother." We started talking about why God did that. And somehow, my mom mentioned something about going through hard times and trials and suffering. We started talking about he God uses other people's suffering and does something amazing out of it, much like Jesus dying on the cross-his suffering-bringing out salvation. And here is what I said:
"

I know how that is. You know how I blog, Mom? Well I try to be real and blog
about my life. I blogged once about how God saved me from sin, and used a quote
from the movie Tron. I talked about how this character said she felt like she
was dying, and then she felt a hand on her shoulder and there, above her, was
the creator. I talked about how even though this is a fiction charachter talking
about a fake creator, it can be so deep. I talked about how I felt like I was
dying in my sin, but God put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a reason to
live. Mom, someone commented on that blog and said 'I don't know who you are,
and it doesn't matter who I am, but I am going through some tough times.' Mom,
my blog is helping people. I look at the stats, and people on the other side of
the world read my blog. I blog about my pain, and it helps other people on the
other side of the world. But get this, Mom-you know what made me want to blog?
Reading a book about BJ Higgins, and how his parents started a blog when THEY
were going though hard times. Their pain inspired me, and my pain inspires
people on the other side of the world."

I find that so amazing-God can take such sad things-like the Higgins family losing their son, or a depressed and bitter girl who was addicted to cutting-and use them for good. He can do that with your hard times and struggles to-if you'll only let Him. I hope that thought encourages you in some small (or big) way.

Tron and my life

So I just watched the movie "Tron", and this quote stood out to me:
"Just as everything was about to go black, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes, and there, standing above me, was the creator." -Quorra
I think this quote stood out to me because I kinda knew what she was talking about (even though she was talking about a fictional story and creator). She was talking about a time in her life when she was at the point of death-everyone around her was dead, and she was waiting to die just like them-and unexpectedly, her "creator" came and saved her. I thought "I've been there. I know how that feels."
At one time in my life, I was dying in my sin. I had nothing else to live for. Everyone I knew was dying in their sin. So I though I had nothing else. I laid down, and waited to die in my sin. When out of nowhere, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I felt someone saying "I'm here for you. get up." And when I opened my eyes, I saw my creator was there-God. He revived me. He gave me a reason to live. He gave me a reason to get up and go on with life. It's because of him that I am alive and joyful. He gave me life.
So I know this is shorter than some of my other blogs, but I just figured it was worth posting. :)

Easter :)

So it's Easter Sunday. And I like how thoughtful it makes me be. :)
I was just thinking about Jesus and all that he did for us. How He gave up his life. You know, even though he was Jesus, and he knew he would rise again, I think that was still a hard thing to do-give up his life, go through all that pain-for...me? Why? What did I do to deserve such love? What did I do to deserve someone to die for me? To give up their life?
And the answer-I have done nothing. On the contrary-I have done everything NOT to deserve someone to die for me. I have done everything to deserve to die myself. But through God's amazing grace, mercy, and unfailing love, I have been given this gift-this amazing gift of life and joy and peace. And I can't help but think-why?
Why would Jesus want to give up their life for some girl who abused herself-his creation, who cursed his name, who disowned him, questioned him, and denied him access to her heart so many times? Why would Jesus want to do that?
Because he loves me.
His unfailing love.
I've been reading the One Year Bible everyday since January 1st, and the version I'm reading (New Living Translation) has really showed me some great things. One of my favorite things about this version is the way it describes God's love-it never simply says "your love"-it says "your UNFAIING love". I love that. It really makes me grateful for Jesus's unfailing love-it will never leave me, never let me down like humans will. So it was Jesus's unfailing love that saved me. That wants me. That loves me wholly-a love that now parent, friend, boyfriend, or person can ever really give me.

Surely your goodness and UNFAILING LOVE will PURSUE me all the days of my
life, and i will live in the house of the Lord FOREVER. -Psalm 23:6

Without Jesus Christ, God could never do that. He couldn't pursue me, because he would trip over my sin and baggage that I left behind. But Jesus took all my baggage and sin. He made me a new person through him.
Maybe you're reading this blog and you're like "Man-this chick is crazy. She doesn't know all i've done or am doing. I can't get this." But you can. It's yours-free to take. No one can take it away or make him love you any less-not even yourself.
So think about that today, where ever you are-if you're just at home, browsing the web, or in church, or all alone. Think about how Jesus Christ gave up his life for you.

I'll set you as a seal, upon my heart-as a seal upon my arm. For there
is love-it is as strong as death-jealousy demanding as the grave. And many
waters cannot quench this love.

Whew I haven't posted in awhile...

Okay...so I feel like it's been forEVER since I posted. Well, I have a few short things to say.

1) Bible reading. If you read my New Year's post, you would know that I said one of the things I wanted to do was to keep up with reading my Bible and finish it in a year. Well since January 1st, I have kept up with it everyday. I feel accomplished and God has spoken to me so much through it. Let me just show you what I read last night:

"Teach me your ways, Oh Lord

That I may live according to your truth.

Grant me purity of heart,

So that I may honor you.

With all my heart, I will praise you,

Oh Lord, my God.

I will give glory to your name forever,

For your love is great.

You have rescued me from the depths of death."

-Psalms 86:11-13

That verse just meant alot to me. I really loved it, and it made me want to make that my life's prayer. Teach me your ways Oh Lord. Grant me purity of heart. I love it. I want to live my life like that. Praising God, living my life to honor him, because of what he's done and how he rescued me. So think about it. I know this verse will definitely be in my heart and spirit for awhile, and I'm gonna be meditating on it quite a bit for the next few days...or weeks...or months...or whenever. :)

2) Check out my testimony! I posted it on my tumblr blog. Here is the link. http://thepastorskid.tumblr.com/testimony I hope it encourages someone somehow or speaks into someone's life.

And that's all I really have to say...I hope to start blogging more often. God bless! :)

-A Christian Teenage Girl

Kill Two Birds with One Blog

Tonight (or this morning, or this afternoon...whatever), I'm going to "Kill Two Birds with One Stone"-or cover two topics in one blog. Here we go:

1) Okay, so maybe you've read my post titled "Redefining Normal", maybe you haven't. (you should, because it's really good.) Anyways, God has been reminding me of this lately. Redefining Normal. I've noticed something. I've been praying for God to give me his heart, and when I did, I started noticing things I never noticed. Like how it is really "normal" for a Christian teenager to NOT live their life like it. It's "normal" for Christian teenagers to live their lives at double standards. And this has been driving me crazy. Ask my mom. Me and my mom have a good relationship, and one night, I was talking to her about this-teenagers I know who have to potential to be great leaders for God, but live double lives. I talked about one who cusses when we go out for lunch, and then fasts once a week to pray. I talked about another one who has such high faith, but listens to "dirty" music-music that uses "the f-word" MULTIPLE times-and when I asked this person about it, their reply was that it was fine. I talked about one who can pray in the spirit for hours on end, but dresses "not so modest" when we go to the mall or movies-and when I told this person that, thinking she would be thankful I cared about it, she said "Eh-nah. It's fine". I brought up so many examples of teenagers I know who CAN be great leaders, but don't go the whole way because they're too busy leading double lives. And for some reason, I got incredibly angry. I didn't understand why, but then I realizes-I had been praying for God's heart, and He'd given me a piece of it. I wasn't angry at the people I was mentioning, but the fact that they openly lead double lives. I don't understand how we can think this is okay? I don't get it how we can have leaders and people stand up for what's right and wrong-when they live these double lives! It makes no sense to me. Why don't we want to change the way we live and live realistically and "practice what we preach"? I wonder-what has it come to when it is "normal" to hear cuss words come out of our own mouth, or to put then into our spirit with the music we listen to, or to dress unmodest-how did we get to the state where this is normal for Christians? Where no one will stand up and say "This is not right!" I'm not saying I'm perfect, or that I have it all together-no, this blog is as much for me as it is for you. I sin. And I feel convicted, and ask for forgiveness. But when you regularly lead a double life, it's hard to feel conviction or feel God speak to you. This normalicy of a double life blows my mind. But it made me realize something-that we have a MAJOR need to "redefine normal"-if this is what normal is, I want to change it. (one bird down.)

2) Lately, in my little Christian school, I've been a bit irritable about something. Complaining against leadership. I've been praying for this too. And something was brought to my attention:
I've been reading Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers (headed towards Deuteronomy-) in my daily Bible reading. And you know what I noticed? The Isrealites complaints and murmurings kept them out of the promised land for years and years. And it was like they didn't get it. They just kept complaining-specifically against Moses and Aarron. So here's the thing that hit me-their complaining cost them something huge. And I've noticed this also-it's really easy to complain about leadership. But as the Isrealites showed-it's never a good idea. It doesn't work. One time, God brough a plague on them. Once he made snakes come and bite them. And it goes on and on, their punishment for complaining. (And that's not even mentioning the fact that they were stuck in the wilderness forEVER.) So all this to say-your words have power. One time, the Isrealites where whining, saying "Oh we'll never make it. Blah blah blah." And God said "Okay-I'll give you what you've been speaking over yourselves-you WON'T make it into the promised land. Sorry. You said, not me." So pretty much, be careful what you say, because it could hold you back from the great things God has promised you. (two birds with one blog. Done.)

FYI! URL change!

To all of you who check out my blog:
I have another blog that USED to be lolpeachtea.tumblr.com, but i've changed the URL. It's now thepastorskid.tumblr.com :)
So that's all I have to say... haha.

Baby, I'm in LOVE! :)

Yes-the title does not lie. I-the girl who's head is always on her shoulders-am in love!
See, I met this guy awhile back, and we were really good friends. I trusted him. We were really close. Best friends. But our relationship was a really odd one. You see, I only went to him when I was distraught or needed someone to talk to. And I didn't realize he was in love with me. Ever time I went to him on just a friendship basis, it broke his heart.
Well I found other guys, and eventually, one day, I turned around and realized I had left my good friend behind. About a year had gone by, and I had never called, never been there. I was never there for him and he had been such a good friend to me! I felt terrible! So I called him. And bein gsuch the wonderful person he is, he answered. I told him I was sorry for being such a flake and leaving him behind when someone better came along. I asked him to forgive me, and he said he did. It felt great.
So we got our friendship back, and it was good. But I still didn't realize that he was in love with me. Like, legitametly in love with me. One day, I found this letter he wrote me. It was really long and all, but it bassically said "Hey-you've been coming to me as a friend and I want to be more. I love you. I'm crazy about you. I would do anything for you-even die! I want to be your everything-because you are mine."
And after I read that letter, I realized that I was in love with this guy all along! I had just never seen it. He was better than any other guys I met or left for him. He was better than anyone I had ever imagined.
So we're together now, and it's one of the best things ever. I love him so much. His name? You want to know-well I'll tell you.
Jesus Christ.

Ask and you Shall Recieve...

So I posted about fasting once. I talked about how I was fasting. Well as I fasted, one of the things I asked God for was finances. I said "God, I really need a way of getting finances. Whether you open up more babysitting jobs or give me oppurtunities to work or just give me a real job-it's in your hands. I just need a job that will let me off on Sundays so I can still be with the kids in kids church." And that was all I prayed.
Well, on Thursday (Jan. 27th), I was at school. A woman came up to me and said "You're mom is on the phone for you." This never happens at our school, so my curiousity shot up. I picked up the phone. "Hello?" "I think I found you a job," my mom said. "What?" "Yeah! I found one. You're going in for the interview today after school." So here's how this happened:
My mom is friends with a woman (since I try to keep my blogs anonymous, we'll call her...ummm...Jill). Well Jill knows the owners of a restraunt about 10 minutes away from my house. And thes owners were talking to Jill and said "We need someone to wait tables, who is good with people and a hard worker." Jill said "I know just the person." And she called my mom and told her this. Well my mom then calls the coffee shop and says "My daughter is in school right now, but Jill told you about her. My daughter would be really interested in this job." The owners said "Great, can she come in after school." (Okay-side note: I'm currently involved in theatre at my school, and I'm in practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school till 5 pm. So I wouldn't be able to work on Tuesdays or Thursdays for awhile. Okay-back to the story.) "Wait," my mom says "She's in theatre and won't be able to be there till about 5:30. Is that okay?" "Yeah sure," the manager said.
So theatre gets out, and we go to the restraunt. The manager says "i'll be there in a minute." So we sit down. She comes out to us, and says "Okay, are you good with people?" "Yes!" I say. "Can you move fast? Can you move and be able to work 4 or 5 or 6 tables at a time?" "Yes I can!" I tell her. "Okay." So she talks to me some, explaining the restraunt and how I would work things, then says "If we hired you, what days would be a conflict?" I said "Well, I can't work sundays. And..." I then explained my theatre situation. In the end, I said "As soon as theatre is over, I am free on week nights and Saturdays." "Okay then," she said. "Can you give me your contact information?" As I was writing it all down, thoughts started running through my head. "What if she won't give me the job because of theatre? I can't quit theatre, because I said I wouldn't! Oh no!"
So I filled out the contact info, and gave it to her. "Great," she said. And the next five words that came out of her mouth were the best things I ever heard.
" Can you work Saturday night? "
"Yes! I can!" I answered.
"Okay good! So for now, until your play is done, you can work Saturday dinner shifts and fill in dinner shifts on weekdays. But you can't have that forever." "Why?" I asked. "because Saturday dinner shift is the best shift, and people will fight over it." "Oh, okay."
So this Saturday, I went in. I waited tables and did all that needed to be done. And at the end of the night, in tips alone, I made $58.
I thank God. I realized this:
1) I didn't call them. That job found me. God brought that job to me.
2) I didn't even have to fill out an application. They gave me that job.
And at the end of the night, the owners both told me "you did such a good job for your first night."
Thank you God!

Tie Love and Faithfulness around your neck. Write them on the tablets of your heart. Then you will have FAVOR and a GOOD NAME in both God AND man. -Proverbs 3:3

I find this INCREDIBLE (Matthew 11:1-4)

This is just something that I have been dwelling on lately.
So when John the Baptist got put in prison, he probably knew he was gonna die. And he was probably wondering “Is Jesus really the one? Ahve I given my life for the right thing?” He sent messengers to ask Jesus “Are you really the Messiah?” And Jesus answeres him by saying this:
“Go back to John and tell him what you have heard and seen—the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the Good News is being preached to the poor. And tell him, ‘God blesses those who do not turn away because of me.”
Jesus is bassically saying “Look John, here is PROOF that I am the son of God…” and then lists off all these miracles and wonders that he was doing. I find that incredible. I kinda think he’s saying “Look, I’m living my life out like the son of God should.” His life PROVED that he was God.
All this to say: do OUR lives prove anything? Do our lives say “Hey, look, I’m a child of God and this is how I live my life-like Jesus.” Or do they say “Hey check me out. i’m a good christian on Sundays and Wednesday nights, but on the other days-who cares?” What message do our lives send?

Wow.

So you might have read my blog that was titled "A HUGE accomplishment", about a boy in my kids church. I also posted that on my "Tumblr" blog. Out of all the blogs I have ever posted, I think that was the one that got the most comments. I am well aware that not everyone believes in speaking in tounges and the gifts of the spirit, but these comments were not just "I don't believe in that" comments-they were harsh comments. One person posted "Isn't indoctrination great?" Another said "let the brainwashing begin." Some one else said "I had a similar expierience, but it ended with a nun yelling that I was going to hell." At first, I was taken back. But this is not the first (and not the last) time I have or will be poked fun at or teased because of my faith. My second reation was to be angry. I went on one of the blogs and started typing in rage. I started to say things like "You have never expierienced this? I feel sorry for you" or "I did not ask or need you opinion on my beliefs-I know what is true" and other things like that. Just as I was about to hit "Post!", God spoke to me. I realized that what I was about to say was not right. Even when the pharisees made fun of Jesus and said he was lying, alot of times, he just took it. when they were crucifying him and mocking him and spitting on his face, he didn't say a word.
Jesus said in Matthew 5:10-12 "Blessed are those who are persecuted, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of things against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great if your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you."
If I want to be more Christ-like, I won't get involved in all of that. I won't fight back or get angry, because Jesus says I shouldn't.
So are you wondering what I did in return to all those comments? I posted on one person's blog. The one who said "a nun yelled I was going to hell". I said the following:
"Hey, I just wanted you to know that that was my blog you reblogged, and I have something to say: I'm not angry or mad at the fact that you expressed you opinion. But I hope you know that you're not going to hell if you don't speak in tounges. I don't preach fire and brimstone, just love and truth. It's not your spiritual level that determines your entrance to heaven-just if you strive to be Christ like. It's not you level-it's your heart. God bless! -A christian girl"
:)

A huge accomplishment... :)

So today, I made a huge accomplishment. One the the best things a person could do, in my opinion. Today, I led four children to the Lord.
I teach kids church at my church, and so we were talking, and when someone mentioned Jesus, on of the boys said "Jesus-who is Jesus?" I said "You don't know the story of Jesus?" He just shook his head. So I began to tell him about Jesus. He had no idea that Jesus was killed and crucified-he didn't even know what crucified means. I explained that Jesus died for our sins, and that if you pray for Him to come into your heart, you will go to heaven. And then I asked him "Have you ever prayed for Jesus to forgive you of your sins and to come into your heart?" He said no. So I said "Do you want to?" He said "Well, I do want to go to heaven." And so then I asked all the kids, "kids, if you didn't wake up tommorow morning, and you died, how many of you know for sure that you would go to heaven?" All the kids just looked at me. I said "None of you?" They all said no. I said "Well, lets all bow our heads and close our eyes. If you want to accept Jesus into your heart, then raise your hand."
I looked up, to see who had raised their hands, and everyone of them had said yes. So I prayed with them all. Then I looked up and said "I'm so proud of you all. Now Jesus and the Holy Spirit lives inside of you. Now you can be babtized in the Holy Spirit." The little boy who asked me who Jesus was said "What is the babtism of the Holy Spirit?" I said "Well, when you accept Jesus into your heart, the Holy Spirit comes to live inside of you, and if you want, he can babtize you in the Holy Spirit. He gives you a special prayer language, and it's called speaking in tounges. When you don't know what to say to God, you can speak in tongues, and you are praying exactly what God wants you to pray." The little boy said "I want that too!" And so I prayed for him to recieve the babtism of the Holy spirit. He didn't get it right then, but I praise God that he prayed for Jesus to come into his life. Thank you Jesus for using me!

The rock or the sand-where does YOUR house stand?

"Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.” -Matthew 7:24-27
The rock or the sand-which one is YOUR house built on? Wisdom or foolishness-where does YOUR life stand?

Moving Closer

So I have been fasting.
Some people are not sure what that is, and for those of you who aren’t, it’s okay. Fasting is something that a person does for God. They give up something that means alot to them for a set amount of time, and focus on God more. Some people fast certain foods-like desserts or meat-some fast actual things-like tv or computer. And when they aren’t doing that thing they are fasting, they are praying and worshipping and drawing close to God. Some people feel fasting is something they would like to do, and some feel it’s not for them. If you feel that way, that’s fine-it’s whatever God calls you to do. This is just my opinion and expeirience with it. I actually suggest it for someone who wants to draw near to God. It’s a good thing.
Anyways, so I’ve been fasting. It has drawn me close to God. I haven’t ate in five days, and it amazes me that whenever I feel hungry, I pray, and God fills me up. He doesn’t literally shove food down my throat or make me feel full, but it is like when I pray, my mind goes off the fact that I’m hungry and tired and I begin to think about God and how good he is and amazing and all that.
If you think about it, it is like you are dying to yourself. When you starve yourself, in a way, you are dying. Dying to your flesh-your sin. You know what I mean?
In Romans 6:6-8, Paul said “For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with,that we should no longer be slaves to sin—because anyone who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.” So if we die to ourselves (not literally die), and don’t live in our sin, we draw nearer to God. That is what happens when you fast, I think. I don't know, but so far, it is working out pretty well for me.

I meant to post this New Year's Day...

So I meant to post this on New Year's Day, but I didn't...ANYways...here it is.
My New Year's Resolutions:
What is my New Year's resolution? What do I want to accomplish?
On New Year's day, I watched the ball drop at midnight, and then went up to my room and just sat in silence. I took out a notebook where I write my prayers and thoughts and different things I do in my quiet time with God. I flipped it to a blank page and began to write down all of the events from 2010 I could remember-all the events that made an impact on me. I wrote down a good 15 or so of them, and then asked myself, "Which of these events were beneficial? Which ones taught you somethings? Which ones would you take back?" I'm sad to say there were alot that were not the best idea, and I wish some of them had never happened. I started to think "Man! 2010 was a terrible year to me!" But looking back, I realized something-I learned something from all of them. Through all the stupid things I had done, all the mistakes, all the good things, all the things done wrong ot me, and everything I couldn't help-each one had taught me something. I began to write what I had learned.
I learned that I want me and my future husband to have a love that is beautiful, praise-worthy, and pure by watching my two friends Vanessa and Edgar prepare for and getting married. When some of my good friends walked out of my life, I learned how easily people enter and exit your life and how to take good things out of those relationships. When I tried to work out a relationship that should have never started, I learned not to idolize any relationship or friendship, because you only end up getting hurt. I learned a bit of the calling God has on my life by travelling to India. I learned alot in 2010.
I also realized that 2010 was a year of "firsts" for me. My first time to fast. My first car. My first international trip. My first kiss. And as I looked back on all of those things, I realized "2010 had it's ups-and-downs, but I learned alot and gained wisdom."
Then I thought about 2011. What do I want to do? What do I want to accomplish? What do I want to change? I want to grow my faith in 2011. I want to have a strong, sturdy trust in God. I want to focus on him and draw near to him more than in the past. I want to burn for Him.
I want to win my friends to God, and witness to them, not with my words, but with my life-using words if nessicary. I don't want to SPEAK about God's presence in my life-I want to LIVE it. Breathe it. Live off of it.
I want to read my Bible in a year. I want to fast as long as I can this year. I want to live 2011 with God.
In mid-2010, I completed a year long commitment I had made to not date. But then I took everything I had learned from that year and forgot it. I don't want to live 2011 like that. I want to have Jesus Christ at the center of all my relationships, friendships, and encouter with people. I want to hav emy life revolve around God. I don't want to have any relationships or friendships I regret in 2011. I want to put God in the front of my life and give him control. I want to live a God-life in 2011.
And THAT is my new Year's resolution.